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Your body talks

By Christina Ong, featured in Straits Times, Recruit

A lot of people have been betrayed by their bodies, yet few realize this unconscious treachery. How you walk, how you stand, how you sit and how you shake hands say a lot about you. In fact, your bodies often “talk” louder than your mouth. You may say one thing, but if your body sends out contradicting signals, then the final message may not be what you want. Mrs Christina Ong, managing consultant of Imagework, said that it is not always what you say, but how you say it that is important. She quoted an authoritative American survey which found that 55 per cent of the message was conveyed by the body, 38 per cent by the tone of voice and only seven per cent by the actual words. So in her course on “Beyond Appearance”, Mrs Ong makes sure participants leave with a much greater awareness of how important the body’s non-verbal communication is.

What You Do	What It Means
Sitting at edge of the chair with legs curled.	Ignore me, I’m insignificant.
Spread out all over the chair, legs wide apart, hands behind the head or with an arm over the back of chair.	Cocky, dominating. It is one of the worst things a man can do - especially in the presence of his boss.
Take the full seat in a comfortably upright posture.	Confident.
Eye Contact - Avoid a piercing stare - shift the glance, but keep it around head and shoulder area.	Open, honest, interested.
If you keep looking at the other people below shoulder level.	You’re being too personal.
Not looking at the other person’s eyes at all.	He is not important, you are not interested or are terribly shy.
Nodding your head every now and then.	Attentive, you are listening and are interested.
Firm handshake, with weds touching.	You’re open and confident.
Double handclasp.	You’re patronizing.
Smile - Just lift the corners of your mouth. If it shows all your teeth, it could look like a false grin.	You’re approachable, a “people” person. Show enthusiasm and optimism.
Standing with arms on hip, or crossed.	A “closed” body gesture that makes you unapproachable. Shows lack of interest or “I’m the boss” attitude.
Leaning against a chair, table or wall while talking to others.	I’m tired; I don’t really care.